Awkward Ornaments

By Larry Buchanan

Some Christmas trees are carefully decorated with a precise mix of beautifully contrasting bows, balls, tinsel and candy canes. Not ours. Our tree looks like a refugee camp for misfit ornaments. Here are 28 of the best.

The Poorly Constructed Popsicle Reindeer

The Poorly Constructed Popsicle Reindeer.



Puff ball angel

Puff ball angel.




Guitar?

Guitar?



The Ugly Angel

The Ugly Angel.


When I was in my angry stage.

When I was in my angry stage.


Awkwardly large hat.

Awkwardly large hat.




Terribly painted clay leaf. Total branch-weigher.

Terribly painted clay leaf. Total branch-weigher.


Construction paper and poor glitter distribution.

Construction paper and poor glitter distribution.



My dad. Again, construction paper and poor glitter distribution. This time with a doily.

My dad. Again, construction paper and poor glitter distribution. This time with a doily.


Green Irish Santa missing a hand.

Green Irish Santa missing a hand.



Who are Denni & Rich?

Who are Denni & Rich?


Cabbage Patch doll tag.

Cabbage Patch doll tag.


No one is quite sure what this is, but there is agreement that it was made by my Uncle Mike.

No one is quite sure what this is, but there is agreement that it was made by my Uncle Mike.


Uh? I think it's supposed to be a bird.

Uh? I think it's supposed to be a bird.


 
Just weird.

Just weird.




Bad. And huge.

Bad. And huge.




Very bad wreath.

Very bad wreath.



Square-headless sledder.

Square-headless sledder.


With head attached.

With head attached.


Chick.

Chick.




Kindergarten ornament theft?

Kindergarten ornament theft?


 
100 years in Dale. If you know what Collingdale is, you know this is awkward.

100 years in Dale. If you know what Collingdale is, you know this is awkward.


Tiny tiny mug of beer. Probably from the Irish Santa's hand.

Tiny tiny mug of beer. Probably from the Irish Santa's hand.



Terribly awkward Santa. Cousin of the ugly angel.

Terribly awkward Santa. Cousin of the ugly angel.


Just a head.

Just a head.


No teeth, school portrait ornament.

No teeth, school portrait ornament.


GIANT M&M.

GIANT M&M.




Creepin' a bit.

Creepin' a bit.